Casual Dating Is About Having So Much Casual Sex It Becomes The New Norm For You… Here Are The 5 Rules For Making Sure It Lasts…
So, you’ve gotten yourself some casual dates.
You’ve met one or two or more potential people to have some hot action with, and would now like to form a relationship of some sort (at least one where you are seeing each other somewhat regularly).
Well, turns out that if you want to KEEP your newly formed relationship in the first place, but also keep it CASUAL, there are certain things you need to keep in mind. This page is all about learning the rules of keeping the dating casual, and not get into the whole “So… Where do you think we’re going?” conversation at all.
The 5 Best RULES For Keeping Casual Dating Relationship CASUAL
Now, before I get into these, I must say that of course every individual and circumstance is different. So, you need to use some common sense with these rules as you apply them into your particular “relationship” (it’s really about dating at this point, casual relationship comes only after that.)
Having said that, let’s just jump into the rules right away.
1. Know what YOU want
This might seem like an obvious thing, but it’s very much worth mentioning.
Look… If you are secretly starving for LOVE… You know, that deep connection with someone where you’ll finish each others sentences and all that… That’s going to come across at some point.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting love, but you should aware of your own desires. You should be able to acknowledge the things YOU want.
And this is to important because sometimes the way to start a “real” relationship does not go through a casual phase. Sometimes, love can be found somewhere else, and the 100% right person for you might not approve the casual approach, no matter how smooth your demeanor is.
So, keep that in mind. Now, I’m assuming you’re after casual dating, and you want to keep the relationship as such. No strings attached, no exclusivity, no accountability. Just hot sex when both of you feel like it. How do you make THAT one happen?
2. Be honest
Now, this is one of those things where you have to be able to read the situation a little bit. Quite often a woman will ask questions she REALLY doesn’t even want to hear the answer to.
“Are you seeing someone else right now?”
What do you answer to that?
Let me tell you, a woman WILL know if you’re lying, and that just makes you look weak. Don’t lie. However, being “honest” depends a little bit on the definition as well.
What I recommend is that you let the honesty come through in your being and actions rather than your words. If she asks whether you are seeing someone else, she probably already knows that you do.
So, why is she even asking if she already knows that you do?
Well, she just doesn’t want to feel like some cheap slut that represents only pussy to you. I don’t care how casual the dating phase of relationship is, woman will want to feel appreciated, beautiful and sexy. Even if it’s practically all about sex, she still wants to think she’s got something else as well.
I have found it best to answer in a way that elevates her position a little bit. You could begin by kidding a little bit by saying something like “yeah of course! (pause) I’m seeing 18 different women right now, including your mother and your best friend.”
Then she’ll be like “ha ha! But really, are you?”
Then you can say “well, really! You asked me and I told you. When do you think I’m going from here?”
If she still persists, say “Well, I’m here with you right now. What else is important to you?”
Right? Simply somehow show that you appreciate the relationship with HER over all the gazillion women out there. Make the woman feel seen and appreciated, and you should be all right.
However, if she absolutely persists, I think it’s better to simply say you’re a single, and you don’t see anything wrong in you seeing multiple women if you so choose. And then simply say that naturally there are other women in your life as well.
If she doesn’t want that, then it’s of course up to you to decide whether to continue with her or not.
3. Don’t get too involved emotionally
This one goes to both, but especially you. You simply cannot lead her emotionally too deep if you want to keep it casual.
Now, what does this look like in practice?
Well, as an example here… You guys have had sex and now you’re laying on bed. You know the feeling right? Heart is still beating and you are both a bit sweaty. The room smells like, well, sex. She’s leaning to your chest and so on.
Now, the absolutely wrong way to go about is to jump into the “relationship” mode: to start talking to her in this really sweet lover voice, praising her from head to toe and talking about all kinds of really deep topics and all that.
That’s not going to work, and the reason is this:
SHE WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
Casual dating – by definition almost – just CAN NOT work if the other person is in LOVE. It’s not a real relationship in the deepest sense of the word.
Love is a fantastic emotion, but not in casual dating. And this goes both to you and to her.
If you (or her) are in love, you’re going to start worrying about losing her. Naturally, this will happen to her as well.
That SERIOUSLY complicates things. You don’t want her to fall in love, and you can control this to quite a degree. Simply don’t let her in on your world too deeply.
4. Don’t stay emotionally ice cold either
There is a FINE balance between too little and too much emotion. Too little, and she starts thinking you’re just after her pussy (and feeling bad, she’ll put a stop to it before long). Get too involved, and she’ll fall in love (and the jealousy ruins not only your relationship with her, but potentially every other relationship as well).
In casual dating, it’s generally better to show too little emotion than too much, in my opinion. However, you really don’t want to go ice cold either.
So, what’s the right amount of emotion? It’s impossible for me to tell. You simply learn it through practice and experience. Then, you can adjust the level where necessary.
5. Don’t be too available
It’s understandable in the beginning – especially after a reeeeally long dry spell – to try just SHOWER her with attention. You know, stuff like CONSTANTLY messaging her on Facebook or through SMS. This is relationship stuff, and doesn’t work all that well outside a real relationship.
Always remember this…
Mystery Is Crucial Part Of Successful Casual Dating
You simply CAN NOT create mystery and intrigue if she’s taking you for granted. If she know you will ALWAYS be there whenever she needs you, you’ll quickly lose your power, which will dry up the sexual polarity at the same token.
If you’re feeling needy yourself, do whatever it takes to not cling onto her. And the absolutely best way to accomplish this is to ACTUALLY not need her in the first place.
The million dollar question then is, how do you truly become not needy?
The answer again is this…
You MUST Have PLENTY Of Options!
And the absolutely easiest way to get TONS of options is to tap into the power of automated dating. You want your charming personality be out there attracting new people to you all the time. And unless you want to turn this into a full-time job, I recommend mastering the online dating thing for yourself – focusing of course on the CASUAL DATING stuff (forget about that soulmate-hunting b.s.)
In case you haven yet had a look at the 9 absolutely best sites for automating your casual sex success, do it now.
So, having options is a MUST if you want to keep yourself detached from potentially “losing” her or whatever. And hey, stuff happens so at some point she might walk away regardless (like maybe she finds someone to have a “real” relationship with). No problem, simply keep on doing what’s already working for you.
Another piece to the “don’t be too available” puzzle is to have an interesting life outside casual dating as well. Go do something important with your life. Get a career that resonates with you or start your own business. Build a career out of something you would do even if no-one paid you one cent to do it. Become a MASTER at it.
Let me tell you… And this is the funniest thing there is…
A Woman Wants A Man That Doesn’t NEED Her
Right? By having an interesting life on your own, you won’t even have TIME to worry what’s going on with any particular casual dating thingy. This is not to demean or devalue the women your dating, not at all. The point is simply to grow into the kind of man that NATURALLY attracts all kinds of hot action to you.
And here’s the thing…
The ULTIMATE Goal Of Casual Dating Revealed
Wanna know what really is the END goal of all of this in my opinion?
To be the kind of man women are naturally attracted to. To be the kind of man women ask no stupid questions from. To have women KNOW you are busy with girls, and be grateful to be able to be a part of your life anyway. To have lots of mutually beneficial relationships with absolutely HOT SEX, and great connection.
This is possible (I’m starting to experience something along the nature of this in my own life right now.) And everything started for me online. I was so shy I couldn’t even THINK of actually talking to a real, living breathing woman in a MILLION YEARS.
So, I got online, and failed a lot. After years of hard work I finally got to where I am today.
Life is good, and I want it to be like that for you as well.
How Do You Start Building YOUR Casual Dating Success?
I already said you HAVE TO have a strong online presence. It’s a time-saver. A rejection-saver. An automatic date-builder. Seriously, you’re NUTS if you don’t have at least 3 profiles on one of the 9 best casual sex dating sites. Come on.
The second thing is that you need to adhere to the RULES laid out in this page. Take those rules and make them fit your particular situation.
Then, read the next section, where we’ll discuss turning casual dating into a casual relationship, should you want to do that.
Now… A relationship is a little bit trickier than just plain old casual action. You see, relationship is often about going lot deeper into the realm of emotions and so on. Yes, of course hot sex is (at least should) be a part of any real relationship, but it’s not the only thing there is to it.
So, only read the next post if you would really like to deepen the dating a little bit and take it into something that resembles a real relationship a little bit more. And that’s different, because there you need to let go of some of these casual dating rules.